Could Be Titled - "I Was Groped By A Rabbi"!

I Was Groped on the Subway

I was late as usual, weaving through the 72nd Street subway station, rushing down the stairs to catch a departing train, and managed to squeeze into one of the packed cars just in time. It was Friday, a few weeks after my 29th birthday. I was on my way downtown to my job at my family’s taxi business, casually dressed in leggings and a striped orange dress. I pushed my still wet hair out of my face and found a sliver of space to stand. As the doors were closing, one more person shoved his way in and the car let out a collective groan.

As the train pulled away from the platform, I felt a man pressing harder and harder against my backside. I tried to evade him but couldn’t move an inch in any direction. I looked over my shoulder thinking the buckle of his bag must have been digging into me but there was no bag. Only his navy sweat pants. Is that what I think it is? It can’t be.

I shifted my hip to the right and then the left, but his body shifted with me. My eyes darted to each of the commuters around me, mutely asking for help. When none of their eyes met mine, I wanted to say something but no words came out. I held my breath until we got to the next stop.

When we arrived at Times Square, I pushed passed him with the force of the other riders behind me. I said nothing as I glanced down to see the bulge below his waist.

A woman approached me as I made my way to the exit, relieved to finally be off the train. She flashed a badge. “Can I ask you some questions?”

“Oh, no, ” I said, reflexively panicking the same way I do when I pass a cop car parked on the side of a highway, even if I’m driving 5 miles below the speed limit.

We stepped to the side as people rushed past.

“I think something happened back there,” she said. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

I knew that she knew and I just started talking.

“I froze. I had no room to move. If I made a scene he could have taken out a knife,” I said, looking at my feet and feeling like a coward with a bunch of excuses.

Why hadn’t I yelled, or elbowed him? Why didn’t I ask the people around me for help? I thought for a moment that I might be crazy, that I was making it all up.

The undercover officer asked if I would give her a written statement right there. I nodded, and she handed me a piece of paper. My hand shook as I wrote, my words jumbled. Finally, I handed her the sheet filled with crossed out inappropriate words replaced by slightly less inappropriate words. She said her partner would come talk to me in a minute and pointed toward a bench. There was the man in the navy sweat pants. He sat calmly, hands cuffed behind his back with a plastic zip tie. I hadn’t even realized they had stopped him, let alone that they were arresting him.

The other officer, a man wearing camouflage cargo shorts and a ripped T-shirt, told me they were watching for pickpockets, but that groping was “the real epidemic.”

“I saw your face first,” he said. “I have daughters and a wife, so I knew right away what that look meant. Makes me sick.” He assured me there was little I could have done, that my groper had picked the busiest train at the peak of rush hour for that very reason. I clung onto his words, grateful for his empathy.

He asked if I rode the train often and if it had happened before. It had, but I had never reported the incidents and had only defended myself once, calling the guy disgusting and moving to the other side of the car.

He asked me to walk by the bench to identify the man. I hesitated, afraid to have the groper see my face, but the officer stayed by my side. I nodded my head and quickly turned in the opposite direction.

Later, when I told my friends what had happened, they hugged me and a few shared their own similar experiences. Mostly, though, they were sure they would have been tougher: they would have kicked the abuser, screamed, pushed their way through the layers of fellow riders.

My husband and I practiced how I would react if it happened again: I would use my voice. Get away from me! Back off! Maybe I would toss a few expletives in. Except I didn’t intend for it to happen again. I wasn’t planning on taking the subway anymore, at least during peak hours. When I told my husband this, he was surprised. He was used to a resilient, strong wife. He knows I come across strange characters often in my male-dominated business and he was always proud to hear how I handled myself. When a client called me Honey or Sugar Lips I’d say, “I prefer to be called Kim.” I had no problem putting my hand up to interrupt a client who was being rude to one of the other women in the office.

But the truth is, I’ve always been secretly skittish, especially when I’m by myself. When I walked down the dark, empty industrial streets near my Long Island City office, I imagined being dragged into one of the dark warehouses, and held my keys in between my fingers in my pocket for protection. Even in my Upper West Side doorman building, I scurry from the elevator into my apartment each night.

Now I am just as anxious underground. Partly, it’s because I’m terrified to see my groper, but I’m also uncertain whether I’ll be able to muster the courage to stand up to a future assaulter.

When the district attorney’s office called to review the charges of sexual assault in the third degree and forcible touching, I asked if my name could be removed from the report. He already has your name from the arraignment, they said. But, don’t worry — he probably didn’t pay attention. I worried he might come after me seeking revenge. I knew the district attorney had no case without my signature. If I wanted any chance of stopping or punishing the guy, I had to give my name and sign a formal complaint and deposition.

I couldn’t be a coward again.

My fears may have immobilized me before, but this seemed like my chance to be a braver version of myself. I signed my name and instantly felt stronger. Almost strong enough to commute by subway again.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/13/i-was-groped-on-the-subway/?hp

Yosef Kolko Pleads Guilty In Plea-Deal!

1:16 PM EST

Kolko agrees to a 10 year sentence according to multiple reliable sources!

***
UPDATED & CONFIRMED:

Former NJ yeshiva teacher, camp counselor pleads guilty to sexually assaulting boy, is jailed!

Two more victims come forward over the weekend!

AP - TOMS RIVER, N.J. — A former yeshiva teacher has pleaded guilty to charges he sexually assaulted a 12-year-old boy he met while working as a counselor for a camp run by a religious school in Lakewood, N.J.

Rabbi Yosef Kolko on Monday entered the pleas on what was to have been the third day of his trial in Toms River, N.J., and his bail was revoked.

The abuse occurred from 2008 to early 2009, when the boy told his father, also a rabbi.

His father had initially wanted the case handled within Lakewood’s Orthodox Jewish community but decided in mid-2009 to take the case to authorities.

Kolko’s attorney says he is extremely remorseful and apologizes to the victim and his family.

He pleaded guilty to aggravated sexual assault, attempted aggravated sex assault, sexual assault and child endangerment.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/former-nj-yeshiva-teacher-camp-counselor-pleads-guilty-to-sexually-assaulting-boy-is-jailed/2013/05/13/a9c0ce54-bbfa-11e2-b537-ab47f0325f7c_story.html

Do everything to protect your family against child molesters!

By Susan H. Oliva \ Guest columnist

If you have a radio, television or Internet access, I guarantee you have heard the about the recent Cleveland child abduction case that involves three young women. As a nation, we should find this case very disturbing.

Every hour, more details are disclosed by the three young women held captive. These young women are survivors of both physical and sexual abuse. It is horrible to imagine 10 years of tragic abuse happening right next door. Child sexual abuse is a community problem and happens next door every day.

Everyone must be aware, and do their part, to prevent, report and protect our children. Child molesters are someone you know -- but you don't really know -- because they hide who they really are.

Stranger child abductions do happen, and it makes the headlines, but far more often children are sexually assaulted by their own family members or someone they know really well.

Where do we find, and who is, a child molester? Research demonstrates that the child sexual offender is a family friend or one of the many professionals or volunteer staff who come in contact with our children every day. Sex offenders work very hard to seduce and silence their victims, but they also work very hard to deceive adults, and pretend they are model citizens.

Child molesters do their best to appear stable, employed and respectable. They live in nice houses, go to church, eat in restaurants, and pay their taxes. In the Cleveland case one of the neighbors stated they knew the alleged offender "all of their life, and believed he was a good person."

As hard as it is to believe, three out of four sexual offenders were already preying on victims before they reached their 18th birthday. They want to be perceived as "good people."

Talk to your children. It is essential that you believe and support your child. If your child tells you about "inappropriate touching," do not automatically make excuses for the adult your child disclosed about. If they say they do not want to go to someone's house, ask why.

The child is telling you because they trust you, and they want the abuse to stop. Children need to know you will believe them, as well as protect them. They may feel they have let you down because they were touched and never told, despite your warnings.

Unless we step-up and pay attention, we will be no match for child molesters. A child molester is active in the child's life through family, school, neighborhood or church. They are very good at convincing people that the child is mistaken, or that they were "just wrestling or playing." The molester may know you (the parent) and without a doubt, they believe that you will believe them, and not your child.

Let your child know that if something happens it is not their fault, and they will not be in trouble. Let your child know that if they cannot tell you, they should tell another adult, perhaps a relative or school counselor.

Child abuse prevention programs help, but they cannot do it alone. As parents you must talk to your children. Let them know that they are able to tell you anything. Listen, communicate and believe. Child abuse is an extremely underreported crime. Tragically, most child abuse cases will never be reported. Nationally it is believed for every one child abuse victim identified, 10 additional children are being victimized that no one will ever know about.

If you suspect that a child is being victimized, call 911 or report to the Child Protective Services hotline (800) 252-5400. Visit the Advocacy Center for the Children of El Paso's website: advocacycenterep.org on tips on child abuse prevention and awareness.

It's the law. Do your part and protect El Paso's children.

Susan H. Oliva is executive director, Advocacy Center for the Children of El Paso.

Tooting 2 Horns - And A Challenge To Others!

There are only 2 Blogs that have made a darn of a difference to your tiny world and world view. All the rest are just a bunch of rehashed nonsense from other media outlets, reworded, pollyanish, and truly pathetic. Nobody cares about any one's personal opinion. The way you make a difference, is by making a difference.... no other way to say it.

For starters, investigate the finances of the Lakewood Yeshiva --- find out what percentage of the incoming charitable dollars, are really charity, or are just adding to the Kotler coffers?

It has been a while since I have had the time to write and investigate the scumbags passing themselves off as religious folks...You can make a difference, or do you choose to continue to play it safe, by being more concerned with your "reputation"...which by the way counts for nothing among true truth-seekers.

I will continue to keep posting articles from others that reflect my personal points of view, I have done the time, on my dime, dealing with the slime. I need a break...for the interim. I'd love to see others pick up the void that I left. The true test - will anything you wrote mean anything to anyone a day after you died?

For additional topics that fascinate me go to my Facebook page - be fascinated and open your eyes: https://www.facebook.com/unorthodox.jew

Check in every day...I'm going nowhere!

 READ: TRUER THAN EVER:
 http://theunorthodoxjew.blogspot.com/2007/01/insane-boro-park-jew-and-their-double.html

Prosecutor describes abuse at Lakewood yeshiva teacher Yosef Kolko's sex-assault trial

TOMS RIVER — Yosef Kolko was a popular camp counselor who helped an unpopular young boy fit in during the summer after the fifth grade, in 2007, a jury of nine men and seven women heard this morning.

Kolko recruited the boy, who was teased by his peers, to sing in the camp choir and take roles in camp plays, Assistant Ocean County Prosecutor Laura Pierro told the panel.

The activity was great for the shy boy who was wildly into music but usually kept to himself and was shunned by kids his own age, she said.

“That elation would soon be replaced by a profound sense of discomfort,” Pierro said.

The following summer, when the boy returned to Yachad, the summer camp run by Yeshiva Bais Hatorah School on Swarthmore Avenue in Lakewood, Kolko started to sexually abuse the boy, Pierro told the jury.

Kolko, a counselor at the camp who also taught at Yeshiva Orchos Chaim in Lakewood, would rub up against the boy, then 11, engage in acts of oral sex with him and attempt to perform other sexual acts on the child, Pierro said.

The abuse was repeated and occurred at the camp, in a car, in woods near a park and even in a bathroom at a synagogue, Pierro said.

“Sadly,” Pierro said, “that 30-something -year-old man was his best friend.”

The boy, whose name is being withheld to protect his identity, revealed the sexual abuse to a therapist in February of 2009. When the boy’s family was told, the child’s father, a prominent rabbi in Lakewood’s Orthodox community, confronted Kolko, demanding he seek help and quit working with children, Pierro said. The father recorded the conversation, she said. Kolko never denied the accusations and went with him to see another rabbi, she said.

The father sought to have a rabbinical council handle the accusations, but when Kolko eventually refused to cooperate in the process, the victim and his family in July of 2009 went to the Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office, shunning their religious traditions that such matters be handled by rabbis and not secular authorities.

Because “”one Jew is not to inform on another,” Pierro said, the father has since resigned his prestigious teaching position, and the family has moved from Lakewood.

Kolko’s attorney, Michael F. Bachner, said the child is lying, possibly because of pressure from others in the Orthodox community or maybe because Kolko tried to keep his distance from the boy.

In the end, Bachner said, “there was a decision made that Yosef Kolko was getting thrown under the bus.”

The comments were made during opening arguments of Kolko’s trial before Superior Court Judge Francis R. Hodgson.

Kolko, now 39, of Geffen Drive, is charged with aggravated sexual assault, attempted aggravated sexual assault, sexual assault and child endangerment.

Bachner said Kolko’s silence in denying the accusations brought by the victim’s father had nothing to do with guilt, but with respect for a respected rabbi in his community.

“The respect for a rabbinical authority is enormous,” Bachner said. “Kolko’s only remark to (the boy’s father) was, Are you trying to destroy me?’ ”

Bachner said the boy’s father gave Kolko an ultimatum: Quit his job and go to therapy or the father would got to the secular authorities.

Kolko told him, “I can’t do that. I didn’t do anything wrong. Do what you have to do,” Bachner said. “And he continued to work.”

The boy at the center of the case is expected to testify when the trial resumes after the lunch break.

Kolko is free on $125,000 bail. If he is convicted of the charges, he could face up to 60 years in prison.

READ MORE: www.sfjny.org

http://www.app.com/article/20130508/NJNEWS/305080075/Lakewood-yeshiva-teacher-sex-assault-trial-begins?nclick_check=1

"I have clients in their 80s who have been carrying abuse around for 75 years."

Boston clergy abuse lawyer calls for raising age limit on lawsuits against child molesters

BOSTON — An attorney who helped lead an $85 million child sexual abuse settlement against the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston before revealing that he had been a victim of child molestation urged state lawmakers to raise the statute of limitations on sex-abuse lawsuits.

The measure, heard Tuesday by the Legislature's Judiciary Committee, would give victims until age 55 to file civil claims against their alleged attackers. Under current Massachusetts law, most victims have only until age 21 to bring civil lawsuits, according to backers of the legislation.

"It's not going to be complete justice, there will never be complete justice," attorney Eric MacLeish said before meeting with lawmakers.

"But this bill will be so helpful for so many people and I would like to think that it could have been helpful to me," he said, adding that he would argue for the bill from both the standpoint of a lawyer and abuse victim.

MacLeish brought a picture showing himself at age 9 with classmates at a boarding school in England, where he said he was sexually abused by a teacher.

MacLeish was among the lawyers in the landmark 2003 clergy abuse case that led to compensation for hundreds of people who said they were abused by priests as children. Yet during that time, he did not reveal his own grim experiences.

"Even though I knew I was a tough advocate for people who had been sexually abused ... the most terrifying thing for me, that I never spoke about, was going back and confronting the people who had molested me," he said.

After the settlement with the church, MacLeish suffered post-traumatic stress brought on by years of dealing with the stories of others who had been sexually abused, he said. He was haunted in particular by the case of one client who had been raped as a 9-year-old boy.

MacLeish gave up his law practice, got divorced and suffered flashbacks, nausea and insomnia.

An exception to current Massachusetts law allows people over the age of 21 to sue their alleged abusers if  a claim is filed within three years of the time they first realize that they had been harmed by past abuse.

MacLeish said in his case, he had never repressed the memories of abuse, even recalling details as vivid as the pattern of the wallpaper in the room where he had been molested.

"I never forgot it, but I was never able to deal with it," he said. "I was afraid to go there. I thought that if I did I would become unraveled. My elixir, my medication, was representing abuse victims and trying to save people."

Mitchell Garabedian, another Boston attorney who advocates for abuse victims, said raising to 55 the age up until which a person can file claims would recognize the difficulty many people have confronting the trauma until well into adulthood.

"Even if a person realizes they were abused and it caused them problems, they still might not have the coping mechanism to call someone up and say, 'I'll have to do something about this.'" Garabedian said. "I have clients in their 80s who have been carrying abuse around for 75 years."

Those skeptical of raising the statute of limitations say the long passages of time, scarcity of witnesses and sometimes vague recollections of events can make it difficult for the accused to get a fair hearing.

Marci Hamilton, a law professor at Yeshiva University who specializes in child sex-abuse statutes of limitations and supports the Massachusetts bill, said several other states, including California, New York and Pennsylvania, are considering similar legislation.

http://www.therepublic.com/view/story/495def1ce1bd41adb9d2b39d0b22c9e7/MA--Sexual-Abuse-Lawsuits

Yosef Kolko, a counselor at a summer camp at a yeshiva in Lakewood charged with sexually assaulting a boy who was 11 and 12 years old at the time of the incidents

Secrecy on trial in Kolko case

There should be a medal for the Lakewood family that is seeking justice for their son in the courts, despite being ostracized by some in the Orthodox Jewish community to which they belong. Their courage should inspire others to break the thick wall of silence within that community.

The trial of Yosef Kolko, a counselor at a summer camp at a yeshiva in Lakewood charged with sexually assaulting a boy who was 11 and 12 years old at the time of the incidents, could begin as early as this week.

When the boy said he had been molested, between September 2007 and February 2009, his family sought justice from a local rabbinical court. The council did nothing. So the family went to the Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office for help. Kolko was charged with aggravated sexual assault, attempted aggravated sexual assault, sexual assault and child endangerment.

Some in the Lakewood Orthodox community believe that going to secular authorities is treasonous, if not blasphemous. Those beliefs have intimidated the families of abuse victims in Lakewood for too long. Concern inside and outside the Orthodox community over the lack of sex crime reporting in Orthodox neighborhoods has been bubbling for years.

In the aftermath of going to the authorities, the boy and his family were ostracized by their community. Some even embarked on a campaign to get the boy and his father to drop the criminal charges. And a flier was circulated in Lakewood saying the boy’s father made a “mockery” of the Torah and committed a “terrible deed” by going to the secular authorities. The family withstood the barrage and forged ahead.

The attempt on the part of some in the Orthodox community to keep the sordid details in-house are a betrayal of both the faith they profess and of the principals of the nation in which they have the freedom to practice that faith.

The God of the Hebrew scriptures time and again champions justice, even beyond holy ritual. As the prophet Amos thundered in the book that bears his name: “... let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream.” That same Hebrew scripture, in Ecclesiastes, says that nothing is secret: “For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.”

The First Amendment to the Constitution guarantees the Lakewood Orthodox the right to worship and pursue their faith — up to the point where that pursuit harms or infringes on the rights of others.

We hope that the bravery of this family can break down the walls of fear and reprisals from a community that should support the victims of child sexual abuse above all else. If other families stand up for their children, so much the better for the people of Lakewood, Orthodox Judaism and justice itself.

 READ MORE: www.sfjny.org.

http://www.app.com/article/20130507/NJOPINION01/305070007/Secrecy-trial-Kolko-case

Only For Children - Warning For Adults!

This Ad Has a Secret Anti-Abuse Message That Only Kids Can See

In an effort to provide abused children with a safe way to reach out for help, a Spanish organization called the Aid to Children and Adolescents at Risk Foundation, or ANAR for short, created an ad that displays a different message for adults and children at the same time.

The secret behind the ad's wizardry is a lenticular top layer, which shows different images at varying angles. So when an adult—or anyone taller than four feet, five inches—looks at it they only see the image of a sad child and the message: "sometimes, child abuse is only visible to the child suffering it." But when a child looks at the ad, they see bruises on the boy's face and a different message: "if somebody hurts you, phone us and we’ll help you" alongside the foundation's phone number.

The ad is designed to empower kids, particularly if their abuser happens to be standing right next to them. And while this is a great and worthwhile use of lenticular images, how long will it be before toy companies start doing to the same thing to hawk their products directly at kids? [YouTube via PetaPixel via DIY Photography]

http://gizmodo.com/this-ad-has-a-secret-anti-abuse-message-that-only-kids-493108460?utm_campaign=socialflow_gizmodo_facebook&utm_source=gizmodo_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow